Hope Carpenter

Trevor Tyson  0:01  
Thank you for tuning in to Trevor talks podcast where we talk to real people about real topics in real stories. Today, we're gonna talk about redemption. Whether you've done what could be considered the most unforgivable thing on the planet, or you just feel less than today. This episode is for you hope carpenter is CO pastor of one of the nation's largest mega churches, she had perfected the roles of supportive wife, good mother, devoted worship leader, and even a homemaker. But inside she was secretly afraid and full of shame and sadness. With time, a series of bad choices led to multiple affairs, her husband kicked her out and announced to the church that the marriage was over. But God wasn't done and neither was their marriage. Here's my interview with Miss Hope. Carpenter, hope, thank you so much for being here today.

Hope Carpenter  0:52  
Thank you so much for opening up your platform, so that we can give God some glory today.

Trevor Tyson  0:58  
Amen. And like we stated in the intro, you know, nobody's safe from bad decisions in their life, no things happen. Like decisions are made. And there are consequences, but there's also redemption. And that's what we're here to talk about today. So like, right off the bat, I really just want to talk about how is California treat a southern girl like you?

Hope Carpenter  1:22  
Well, you know, you cannot beat California weather. Yeah, I mean, it is just the best in the United States. To me, it's just so dreamy, and comfortable, and so many beautiful places to go. So we, we kind of feel like, you know, we're we're the Lord's favorite couple right now, we get to be on the East Coast some of the month and then on the West Coast some of the month and just get to see the amazing work that God's doing on both sides of the United States. So it is just an honor and a privilege to get to serve the Lord like this.

Trevor Tyson  1:59  
Yeah, and you're not even stopping your ministry in South Carolina and California, you do ministry all over the world. Tell us a little bit about that as well.

Hope Carpenter  2:08  
Well, you know, it takes a lot of vitamins, and good discipline, and not as much chocolate as I would like, to slow me down. But, you know, sometimes we look at each other. And we think, how in the world are we doing this, you know, just jet lag alone. But you know, the Bible says we're graced for the day we're in. So he's asked us to do it. And we said, Yes. And, yeah, we get tired, we get jet lagged. But you know, we know the mandate and the call. So we just keep trucking along.

Trevor Tyson  2:42  
And in the intro, we touched a little bit on your book, The story behind it, the most beautiful disaster. But before we dive into that story that you're mapping out there, where did this whole journey begin for you, I'd really just like to open up the floor for you to share your story leading up to the things that transpired that you map out in your book, but your childhood, everything that led you up to become the woman you are today.

Hope Carpenter  3:05  
Right? I'm very grateful I really am. You know, nobody's raised in a perfect home. Nobody, we because there's no perfect people, we cannot have a perfect home. Because we're sinful people. We have brokenness. We all have, you know, things that we're not proud of imperfections. And but I am so grateful for being raised in a home that took me to church and really pushed me to be the best that I could be. I tell people jokingly today I say, but the home I was raised in, you'd go to jail today for disciplining your kids the way that I was disciplined, but they did the best they could honestly, with the knowledge they had their parents were broken people. And my dad would even tell that, you know, his dad was beat with chains. So you know, just a lot of abuse and anger. And, and I was raised in that, although it was a Christian home. But it was perfectionism it was works. You know, you have to just, you know, you get saved by grace, but you stay saved by works. You know, that's kind of the thought pattern that you know, you got to be perfect. And you got to do all this right? And you can never say it or stub your toe or say a cuss word or you're going straight to hell. And so everything was just so anxiety ridden, to be perfect. And you know, all of us know, nobody is that especially little kids. So you're raised in a home as a kid, where you do get in trouble. And if you're raised in a home that was very, like strict and harsh discipline, you know, that sets up patterns and children to lie, because you lie so you don't get that harsh punishment. But you know, nobody talked about this years ago. I'm old. You're young. I'm in My 50s But nobody talked about mental health back then you just beat your kids and nobody talked about a DD or ADHD or anxiety disorders or any of that stuff, you just beat your kids and you line up. But it affects us, you know, what we've learned now is how much trauma affects you as a child and how it carries over into your adulthood. And, you know, we really think that, you know, we leave our home, we change our last name, we change our address, everything's different, but that's not true. And I really believe that every adult problem is an unresolved child problem. I was also right when I was 15 years old, and because of the harsh punishment, in my home, I surely couldn't go home and tell my parents because it would be my fault. And I didn't even know how to process any of that at 15 years old. Describe it fully in the book. But um, so I stuffed all that down. And then I met my now husband when I was 18 years old, and, and I thought, I just died and gone to heaven. He was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen. He loved the Lord. I mean, who could get that combo, you know? And I remember my mom telling me as a little girl, she said, hope one day you're gonna marry a preacher. And I said, I ain't marrying a fat ugly preacher. Because that's all I knew. But when I came home and told her I'd met Ron, and we'd fallen in love, she said, I told you, you were gonna marry a preacher. I said, Well, he, and he ain't

Trevor Tyson  6:34  
like he's not a South Carolina preacher back in the day, right?

Hope Carpenter  6:39  
Oh, no, Nana, no, we knew we were different from the get go. But we had the privilege in Bible college to travel around, I was a music major, and he was in the seminary program, to travel around in in a singing group to churches all over the United States. And we were both from very small, little church, traditional churches. And so when we started traveling and seeing all these different churches in these, you know, people who could actually pay their light bill without doing a fundraiser for 12 years, and, you know, the thermometer thing, you know, that's how we were raised. And we literally, we would have conversations and say, you know, somebody's lied to us, God is bigger than what we've been told. You know, God, God is just so much bigger and in the moods of God that we saw. And so we knew we wanted to do something different. We were not going to be in that little cookie cutter traditional church that we'd been brought up in, thank God for it. It taught me the word I got saved there. I'm grateful for my heritage. love them so much still support them. But when we got married, I thought that all of that was just going to go away. And we were going to tiptoe into our beautiful life. years went on we started having children, we did not have any insurance. We started our church with nothing trip, I mean nothing. We had shower curtains on the wall, the cover up the loading dock, and plus in those plastic folding chairs, and I would play the piano and Ron would play the drums, he'd jump off the drums and go take up the offer and and I jump off the piano and go do children's church. I mean, we did it all. So we started having children, no insurance. I tell people, my oldest son who is now 28 years old. We finally paid him off when he turned seven.

Trevor Tyson  8:41  
Ah, there we go.

Hope Carpenter  8:42  
Yeah. So it was a tough road. And the pressure started mount, you know, just surfacing in me and I was like, Man, I have a great life. I have a great husband, church is growing. Why do I feel like I feel and so that just started really messing with my head because in the natural I didn't live in those old circumstances anymore. I have a great husband who loves me, a church that's thriving and growing not to megachurch standards, but it was great, you know, just growing little by little great families. We could actually pay our bills now. But I'm feeling this anxiety and pressure. And it it just kept growing and growing and growing and about 35 years old. I woke up one day and I said I cannot do this another day. Of course I never explained those things to my husband along the way because when you're racing in dysfunctional home that you have the don't talk rule you know, you don't talk you don't feel and you don't rock the boat. I surely would not have said any of those things to my husband because that would have panicked him. Didn't want to cause any conflict rock any boats. Because we keep the peace at all costs. Remember to not get in trouble. So Everything had just been stuff for many, many years. And, and I really think it's not documented. But I think I had an emotional breakdown at 35. And I remember I tell the story and people giggle, but I did the unpardonable. I left church that day, and I went and bought a six pack of beer. Ooh. And I bought a bikini bathing suit. Oh, going straight to hell, right. And three secular CDs. And those things were not a part of my world at all. Okay,

Trevor Tyson  10:31  
Spring Break started.

Hope Carpenter  10:35  
That's hilarious. Alright, but, but after much counseling now that I've been through, those are the things that should be happening at your in your life at Spring Break, that was never allowed to happen in my life. And there's a term for that called individuation. And I was never allowed to do that. I was never allowed to touch my fingers to the stove, so to speak, and burn them and learn a lesson. So you were to really, really Yes, I was told what to wear, what I couldn't wear, where I could go, couldn't go could date could not date. Really, I was I was a freshman in college and had a curfew of 11 o'clock, you know, just very tight rains. And so I started doing the things in my 30s that people are normally supposed to do in their teenage years. And, shockingly, it felt so good to me to be able to make my own choice. And describe it as you know, you take a rubber band and you hold it and pull it back and pull it back and pull it back. But when you eventually let it go, it overshoots and that's what I had done. I started doing and now nobody wakes up one day Trevor and says I think I'm going to be a drug addict, or I think I'm going to go have an affair today. Nobody does that. It's just a series of of bad decisions and being in the wrong place the wrong time. Somebody stroking a need on the inside of you, you know. So that's what happened. So nine years of that, can you imagine nine years of trying to present perfect in the church, be the still be the good wife still be the good mom never miss any of the ball practices or the dance recitals or help with the school programs always be present at church, but still having that double life going on. So I thought I was letting the steam off. But actuality I was putting more pressure on me because the truth is I love Jesus the whole time. I loved him with all my heart. And I loved my husband. I just did not know who hope was. And I had a lot of brokenness from childhood from adolescence from teenage years that never got resolved. And you know, the old The old adage, you know, hurt people hurt people. And I was just a brokenhearted girl, and didn't know where to go. Because surely you don't raise your hand in church and admit all those things. Perfect. Yeah, because we gotta be perfect. And people don't say that to you in leadership, but you feel that pressure. And, and truly, the Bible gives major guidelines of what leadership supposed to be. So when you know you're broken, you know what the guidelines are, and you know, you love Jesus, man, there's a huge gap there. So you get on that treadmill to perform, and nobody can do that for long.

Trevor Tyson  13:44  
Yeah. And so nine years of the infidelity and such, how did you keep that a secret from your family for that wall?

Hope Carpenter  13:52  
Well, my husband, suspected we would, we would argue, you know, I'd always want to go away with my friends, my girlfriends that I had had mad and become friends with and, and at the time, you know, I thought they were really, really close friends. But it was just codependent relationships, you know, like, spirits come together, and we're all licking our wounds and talking about how bad we've had it and, you know, it just comfort you temporarily. And so it was just a tough, tough, hard time. And my husband was like, Where is my wife? And, and my thing was, maybe she wasn't the real me. Maybe this is the real me, because it felt right at the time, because I was experiencing something out of season, but I was supposed to be experiencing. So the devil played a big deal in my head and would lie to me and tell me, you know, this is what you're supposed to be doing. This is where you need to be and not over here. They judge you. Of course he's going to come and tell y'all horrible thing. things about the church and the church people and how they're judgmental, to lure you away to continue in your life of sin, and brokenness. But in 2013, it had just reached a pinnacle. And I came to Ron, and he had suspected we had fought about it. And I finally just knew I couldn't live like this anymore. And I said, I told him everything. And I thought, He's gonna wrap his arms around me and say, Man, we're gonna get through this. And he said, You got 30 minutes, get your stuff and get out. And he said, I've lived like this too long. He said, I love you so much. He said, But loving you is too painful. And he said, You know, I have to steward the ministry, I have to steward my family. And you need to just leave, you need to go figure out your life. And, you know, that was one of the saddest days of my life, Trevor, because we had come out of so much and to the world standards. And, you know, I jokingly call it the Christian celebrity cult, you know, that, you know, in that standard, that, you know, I drove out of my house, in a Range Rover and Louie Vuitton luggage, but I had nobody to call, you know, the things don't matter. You know, things just don't matter. and tough lessons, tough lessons, you know, what the, what the world and sometimes even the church views is success is not success at all. And I remember going down the road and, and I said, Where can I go? What can I do? And I remembered this ministry that we sent the other crazy people to the other broken people, you know, the island of broken people. In actuality, we're all broken. We all need Jesus. And so I called him and I said, you know, I told him what had happened. I said, I just need a place to sleep. And they said, come on. Absolutely. Listen, a slice of heaven. This place is it's called Living Waters ministry in hiddenite, North Carolina. And I lived there for nine years, but not nine years, nine months, wow, nine months. And I was so broken. And that's where the book came, came to be. The title of the book is because to the world standards, and even the church's standards, it was the most horrible thing. You know, that could happen. But to me, that's where I really, really met Jesus. And that's where I could cry. I cry about it all the time talking about it, that

Hope Carpenter  17:45  
he met me so real. When I literally was on the rock bottom and had nothing, and just had some money in my pocket book, the credit card was frozen. The bank account was frozen. I was fired. I got no more salary. I'm not on the church, founding papers anymore. I have no insurance. I have nothing. They took my phone. Ron took my car after I got up there. And I mean, literally, it was me and Jesus. But it was the sweetest, sweetest encounter I have ever had. And he literally transformed my life. One hurt at a time. Tell people healings, kind of like peeling back an onion. And you just it's not a one and done. You know, it's not on let's go to a weekend and to a retreat and get healed and everybody's better. No, it was a long, hard, grueling, embarrassing, shameful, hard work process. But I would not take a zillion dollars for it.

Trevor Tyson  18:56  
What was it like in your mind? When everything became public? I'm sure your mental health to a certain extent you were challenged a lot. Was there ever a thought of like, I don't want to live like this anymore. Like this is mostly just the most embarrassing thing that you can think of publicly, like when people hear oh, she cheated on her husband? I'm sure like, without all the full context and the full story. People don't understand that. Not that we're defending what happened, but it didn't just start with like us. I'm gonna get it today. I'm gonna do this spring break starter kit and I'm gonna go each and attract some men. No, it didn't start like that. There's always a why you were raped at 15 Your innocence stolen from you? And that, arguably has everything to do with what happened? Yeah. How did you know that?

Hope Carpenter  19:47  
Now? I didn't know it then. You know, you just think you're losing your mind. You're going crazy. Something has to be wrong with me. It was it was tough. It really was tough and one of our men towards has told us, you know, since then we sat down and lots of therapy, lots of counseling, lots of accountability. And he said that mentally, it's one of the most traumatic things to do is to fall apart on a public stage. It's different than falling apart in private and not, you know, just maybe two or three a handful people know. But ours, you know, unfortunately, was the number four story in the Christian news that year. And man, we got to do better. The churches got to do better at loving people and in really being who Jesus wants us to be. That's why He came. He The Bible says he didn't come for the whale. He came for the sick. And we have done a terrible job at loving people who are so broken who, who don't get it right. You know, that's why we're here. Only only the Sikh native physician and so it was hard. It was really, really hard. But I knew I was at a crossroads. I said, you know, I had my bikini, and I had my margarita mix down, Pat. So you know, I could have gone to Miami and sold margaritas on the beach, I could have done that. I could have done anything. I could have moved to Phoenix and been a realtor, you know, but I love Jesus. And I knew that his hand was on me. I knew he'd called me since a little girl. I knew I love to my husband and I wanted to do ministry, but he at that point, was not willing to reconcile. And he told the congregation publicly that, you know, he wasn't willing to reconcile. So at that point, I had no clue that God would ever use me again. I had no clue I'd ever be restored or my family. But my one prayer was, Lord, just fix me. God, I can do this, if you will just fix me. If you'll just dig down in there. I will partner with you on this healing journey so that you can fix me. But I'm about a month into it though. I'm getting some breath back in my lungs. And, you know, I'm getting some wisdom and understanding as to why I got to the place I was at. So I got real tenacious. I said, Okay, God, no, no, I said, Just fix me. I said, But now God, I'm gonna believe for my marriage. I'm digging my heels in and I'm gonna fight for my marriage and my family. And I did. And I did what it took I fasted I prayed I lost 23 pounds in 30 days. I mean, I was all in. But clearly you can see I'm healed today. I got my weight back.

Trevor Tyson  22:46  
wasn't what I was a minute.

Hope Carpenter  22:51  
You it's called fat and happy.

Trevor Tyson  22:53  
Hey, um, I may be fat and happy to in the soul. You know, it's like, God has redeemed you. And when did the whole process you went into living waters out North Carolina. It was a big news story with Michelle Williams from Destiny. Also, it what did that look like? So a lot of people are hearing living about living waters for the first time that are listening. And it's a retreat center therapy. Yeah, mental health house.

Hope Carpenter  23:19  
It's a house. It literally is a home, they live there. And they have they built it like a like a lodge. And they have 10 bedrooms. And when you go on the weekend, they have marriage retreats, went women's retreats, men's retreats, and a healing the heart retreat one every month. And so you go and you stay there and they cook for you. It's just like a home setting. And they really believe one of their philosophies is that you usually get hurt in a home. So you need to heal in a home. Man, it was so powerful, literally. I mean, they come to you like they come to you like mom and dad. Well, they stand in the gap like mom and dad. And it is one of the most powerful experiences that that anybody will ever have. It's so raw. And it's so real. And I mean, 1000s and 1000s of people have gone through their gone through that ministry. And that's where Michelle and I became friends was when she went there, and it's just a beautiful place to go.

Trevor Tyson  24:33  
Yeah. And what did the conversations like? How did it look with getting back in touch with your husband and starting to patch those things up?

Hope Carpenter  24:42  
It was ugly. It was so ugly for so long. It was nothing but arguments and wise and what about this and questioning and badgering and oh, it was dreadful. But when I really dug into the leaving God for my marriage Hey, Ron started experiencing a lot of wrestling with God's, shall we say God started really hammering him. And I will never forget it. I had I had been writing our three children, we have three children. And I would write them a letter every day, all three of them in millet on the weekend. Just telling them how much I loved them. And what I'd learned that day and what God had shown me and, you know, telling them to believe God and never give up and don't listen to Daddy that we are believing for a miracle. And so it was about two months into it. And he kept saying, No, he was not relenting. He was like, No, we're not going to work on our marriage. And I had gotten really, really discouraged that day. And so I went on a walk. And I remember, it's the first time in my life I had ever, ever, ever said these words, but I said, God, if you would just send a truck around this corner and just kill me right now. I just don't think I can do this anymore. It's too hard. And I looked down on this old asphalt country road, and there was a daisy popping up from a crack in the asphalt. And there was this bird that started flying out of the field. So beautiful, one of the most beautiful birds and the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, hope. If I can take care of that flower. And if I can take care of that bird, how much more? Am I going to take care of you? And it's like fresh air came in to me and I turned around, I said, You are right, I cannot give up. So I turned around and started walking back to the house and Pastor Lee came walking toward me. He said, I've been looking for you. He said, Ron's called, and just my heart sank again. I was like, no, no, I just got this breath of fresh air. And here we go again. So I went upstairs and said, God, you gotta help me. I don't know what this conversation is going to be about. And immediately he reminded me of the scripture that I'd read that morning about David wanting to go and buy the field, so that he could offer up sacrifice to the Lord. And he went to the man who owned the field. And he said, No, no, no, you're the king here. You don't have to buy the field. I'm going to give you the field, and I'm even going to give you the oxen to slaughter. And David said, I will not offer anything to the Lord, that does not cost me. And I said, God, what are you saying, I've given you everything, I've lost everything, I have nothing. I have nothing else to give. I've done everything I know to do. And he he reminded me of the $1,000 in my pocket book is all the money I had to my name when I left the house that day, two months prior. And I was holding on to that like gold, because that's all I had. Not that $1,000 was gonna get me started in life. But to me, that's all I had. And I really felt that the Lord was asking me to give that $1,000 delay. And Denise was like, no, no, no. He said, You gotta give it all. All the safety nets have gotta be to get kicked out from under you. So I went down, told him what had happened. I slid the money, you know, over to him. And I said, and I'm just believing for a miracle. So Ron calls, and he says, hope, and I'm scared one years. He said, I just need to let you know. He said, I have wrestled with God all night long. And he told me to call you and tell you that I would not abandon you.

Hope Carpenter  28:39  
Trevor, I did. The ugly crowd was like, bending down crying thing. And so Ron's like, no, no, no, no, no, I don't know what this means. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know if we're getting back together or what I said I do. God's It's my prayer. I was praying for a miracle. And I got a miracle because I knew that if God starts a thing, he's already finished it. He's faithful to complete what he started. And I knew if God told him not to abandon me that it was already in the plan of God for us to be restored. So that day, started our restoration. It wasn't quick. It wasn't easy. It was traumatic. It was it was gut wrenching. It was good days, it was horrible days. But that started our restoration. And that was in November into November. And in January, we had not told anybody that we had reconciled and in January, we walked hand in hand back out on our stage. Nobody was expecting it. And listen, it was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. It was like an NFL football. Somebody had scored, you know, and they were like screaming and yelling. You have no idea what that did to my heart. Because I had let them down. I had hurt them. I'm so much, but they were still there loving me. I'm telling you, that's redemptions the greatest church I know. And they have been by our side.

Trevor Tyson  30:10  
Since, if you think that was wow, it could you imagine what was going on in heaven? Right? Right. It's just so powerful to hear, like, even with Ron, you know, I can't imagine like, he felt betrayed, he felt like everything had fallen apart. And I mean, you can picture begin to picture what was going on in his head, like, I can't forgive her, like nine years of that, no, like, I rarely need her anymore. But God redeemed and forgave, he worked within Ron for those few months while you were gone. And for someone who may be wrestling with some of the things that you were wrestling with the mental, the physical acts, etc, there's, in all actuality, they're searching for healing in the wrong places, somebody that may be going through their most beautiful disaster right now. What would you say to them, and especially if they can't afford therapy, or help or anything,

Hope Carpenter  31:06  
right, right. And that breaks my heart, breaks my heart so bad. And, and you know, that's one of the reasons that I wrote the book is because, you know, most people can afford 22 or $25, where they can afford 175 an hour. And I tried to make this book, not just my story, but the pathway to show people have to come out of addiction, come out of sin, come out of brokenness, come out of trauma. Because, you know, the Bible says Psalm 23, He leads me in paths of righteousness. So there is a path of righteousness. And I believe he showed me that path in my year of of healing and restoration. A lot of simple truths that God used to take me out of darkness and into light I put in the book. But you know, Jesus, David said, and that only Jesus can satisfy the longings in our soul that Psalm 107. And we're always going to all these other places trying to feel all these voids. And it's only Jesus that can fill it. And I would tell people who are listening to me that don't give up. Because if you don't fight, you don't win. You know, it's easy to feel like, okay, I'm just gonna get out of this marriage, or I'm just gonna leave this job, or I'm gonna leave this state, or I'm gonna start over over here. But if you don't get the healing that you need, you're just changing addresses, but the same problem still going on on the inside. And yet, it's hard work. It's not a one and done. It's not quick. But man, what it produces what it produces, I would not trade today. What me and my husband have I go through it again, as humiliating, and has horrible as it was to have what we have today. Is it perfect? Absolutely not. But man, it's really, really good.

Trevor Tyson  33:19  
If you don't fight you don't win. Hope that's That's the word on its own. And right. That's Trevor, there we go. And I've already started Ryan, come. And even to look at who you are today, like you've gone through everything. And a good bit of people would put, like the lid on the canister and be like, not going to open that again. To open it up full scale in detail. Yeah. Tell the world because God redeemed you. And he gave you that story. He gave you that second chance. And you're honoring it, he

Hope Carpenter  33:54  
did. And a lot of that's, that's why he brings us out. So that so that he can get the glory, and so that we can help somebody else. That's what Genesis 5020 is all about Joseph Story, when he looked at his brothers, after all they had done to him. And they came back in the land of famine, and he's the one in charge of giving out the grain. And he looks at him and says, what you meant for evil. God meant for good. Do you can we even wrap our brain around that in that whole situation, that he could stand there and discern that what you're meant for evil? God allowed it because he knew that I would have to stand right here today to be your deliverer. God used my traumatic experience so that I could turn around and help somebody else. That's what it's all about.

Trevor Tyson  34:53  
And so many people are struggling and going through what possibly could be their most beautiful disaster. What would be the first step for recovery in their shoes?

Hope Carpenter  35:04  
I just believe truth is just so essential. You know, we we don't want to admit we struggle for many, many reasons, especially if we're in the church, you know, because we get talked about, we get judged. It's embarrassing. We let people down just for a plethora of reasons. While we don't want to tell the truth. But even scripture says that only truth makes you free. And you've got to say it and you got to say it out of your mouth. And I would really urge people. I don't know why the church doesn't address mental health. I don't understand that when the Bible is chocked full of information about our mind. We focus so much on the spirit, the spirit that in Yes, I'm all for it, I believe it 110% But there's also natural things too, that that we just eliminate, we just think everything has to happen at an altar experience. And I've seen many miracles happen at an ultra love Ultra experiences. But just like, you know, we go to the doctor, if we have a heart issue or we go to the doctor, if we break our arm. Why don't we go to the doctor if our emotions are out of control, or we suffer with anger, or we're just bitter and unforgiving? You know, there's a lot of things are bright. One of the greatest revelations for me, Trevor was this is that my brain is an organ. Well, it's an Oregon, just like my heart, like my liver, like my kidneys that can fail, just like them. And everything that has to do with how I think, feel and act happens in my brain. But we don't get any help for that. Yeah.

Trevor Tyson  36:50  
We talked about that in detail with Dr. Caroline leaf who, yes. cognitive neuroscientists. And now to hear it from you like, it's just all the most important in here at Trevor talks, we talk a lot about mental health, like my story, in general is just really overcoming anxiety and depression to where I could step back out, be the person God created me to be. I had my beautiful disaster, having going through a mental breakdown, stepping off stage, deleting all social media, like went and worked for AT and T for three years, bought a house did all the things that look like the American dream, but it wasn't my calling at all right? And here we are in 2021 having this conversation right now. And I believe that so many people are going to receive healing from it. You are vulnerable. And you open this can back up and you're like, I'm not going to shut this God gave me this story. I'm just going to dump it out. Like that's right is that so many people are going to find healing from it. It's back to like therapy and such we Alexandra Thompson, out of Atlanta has this mission that she wants to see a counseling center and every church in America no matter how income is no matter how much trauma they've experienced, she believes that every church we should be at the frontlines of that and I believe that much.

Hope Carpenter  38:05  
Yes. I believe insurance should cover it.

Trevor Tyson  38:09  
Yeah, and even like a lot of people can't afford health insurance now. Yeah, there's so many blocks and it's like Are y'all wanting people to die by suicide are you want like, not that it's intentional. But think about it like if politicians are listening to this right now which I wouldn't be surprised. Who hears you're not right, start change and God's gonna continue to move through you and your husband and just sharing the story of redemption and he's given you this story and who is more equipped to talk about this than someone who's been through it?

Hope Carpenter  38:43  
Yeah, so been a rough road a tie it to record. And I think that's one of the reasons people don't want to trench down it you know, it seems easier to leave the marriage it seems easier to just quit, but it's not because you never are dealing with the root. You'd never get to the root anytime there's a fruit there's always a root. And so you got to get to those roots.

Trevor Tyson  39:10  
Yeah. And as we're starting to wrap up here, what would your final message be to listeners that are struggling with mental health issues are struggling with infidelity or just things that seem negative right now too far? They feel too far gone. What's hoped carpenters message to them?

Hope Carpenter  39:29  
I would just tell you the way Jesus treated me. You are so loved and you are so special right here in the middle of your mess. He could not love you anymore. There is nothing that you could do. You couldn't get fully well, you could not give everything you have to the poor in him love you. More than he loves you right now. In your mess in your truck. Homer, and don't run from Jesus run to Jesus. Yeah, the church lets us down people let us down but Jesus never never never let you down. And don't judge people and don't judge the church and call it Jesus. Because listen, he died for this that's why he came that's why he had to die is because we could never be good enough our righteousness our good is just yucky and filthy and stinky Oh mop rags but he loves you so much. And you know what the scripture says though a righteous man falls seven times he gets back up. That's just the thing get back up, get back up. It didn't matter what they say about you. They're messed up too. I always say this I got issues you got issues all God's children's got issues. So just know today that you are so loved and so special and there's hope for you. As long as you have breath as long as you are breathing there is hope for you and it's found in Jesus

Trevor Tyson  41:12  
and and he definitely gave you hope he stuck it in your name but

Hope Carpenter  41:17  
little did I know.

Trevor Tyson  41:19  
Little did we know like God mapped that out before you even knew your name. So go on that. But hope thank you so much for taking time to be with us today. And we're gonna link to your book below in the description and where can people find you on social media?

Hope Carpenter  41:35  
I have a website it's hoped carpenter.com on Instagram it is Pastor hope dot carpenter Facebook Twitter all the others are pastor hope see? So yeah, just link with me in January I'm starting a mentorship program. I'm pretty excited about that. And I teach healing the heart at our church and you can join virtually use in its it's very inexpensive. I have a women's conference every September. So I would just love to get to know some of your people, some of your friends and, and love on them,

Trevor Tyson  42:10  
our families, your family hope and you're always welcome here. And I hope we get to do a follow up discussion with your next book. But thank you for being so vulnerable. Thank you for being you and keep spreading the hope.

Hope Carpenter  42:20  
Thank you so much for having me. Yeah. And

Trevor Tyson  42:23  
to all our listeners. Thank you so much for tuning in yet again. Like y'all just keep coming. And at first I was like, I don't know why they're coming then. You know, God's just moving and he's doing so many amazing things. So if you're in this family thank you so much for tuning in week after week. This episode has been brought to you by new release today. We will talk to you guys next week.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai